


Suddenly Routine

by emeraldsword



Category: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-02-25
Updated: 2007-02-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:06:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldsword/pseuds/emeraldsword
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short meditation when Hedwig is living in the trailer park.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly Routine

Is it strange, that I had never dressed as a woman before the sex change? I, who now live almost completely as a woman, devoting my time to dresses and hair and makeup and turning, like thousands of women before me, to the oldest profession in order to live? I never once tried on my mother's clothes when she was out, never swiped her lipstick across my mouth and pouted at my reflection. I knew I was different, but that was not my strangeness. And now, I am all woman, curls and rouge and fingernails. I allow myself short hair, but only because I like the freedom of my wigs, all the people they let me be.

Now that my husband has brought me here and left me, I could, I suppose, if I chose, resume living as a man. My papers would not matter. I have not taken any hormones, people see a skirt and long hair and the curve of breast and they think 'female', despite the fact that a skirt can be put on and taken off at will and breasts and hair are easy to fake. Jeans and a T-shirt and I'd be almost a man again. Minus one part, of course. Can I be a man without that?

But somehow, it doesn't feel right. Maybe this is fate, and I would eventually have found my way to female clothing even if he hadn't asked it of me. Maybe it's simply that I chose to become a woman in order to escape, and now that I'm here, I feel I ought to stick with my choices, insofar as it's possible. Even if this escape hasn't been what I thought it would be.

It is not easier to be a woman. It is not easier to live in America than it was in Germany. And yet, somehow, I would not go back. The strangest things seem suddenly routine, and I'm going to take this wicked little town and make it my own, find a place for myself or die trying.

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007 for the 40 fandoms in 40 days Lent challenge over on livejournal.


End file.
